The Dating Guru’s Guide to Internet Dating for Rookies #7 Replying to messages


You followed the advice and your inbox is full of replies to the great opening messages you sent. Nice one. The next stage is for you to send a reply. But certainly not right away. Leave it a couple of days to make sure you don’t seem too desperate. (My book contains a little more about the art of timing regarding replies).
You asked a question in your first message and the reply you’ve received provides you with a suitable answer. But here’s the thing to remember. Not everyone knows the art of online dating and more importantly, online messaging. So the response you’ll receive back is likely to vary depending on that user’s level of proficiency with online dating. They might come back with their life story which could very well put you off, but you’ll find the response type falls into only a few categories and this is useful to know because it helps to inform yourresponse type. The response type you receive will be one of the following:

1. “Hey David, I know right. I’d have expected there to be loads more like us! I got into 2. Origami during my time in Japan, what an amazing country it is. How did you start?”

2. “I like paper and making stuff”

3. “<Insert life-story here>”

4. No reply
Let’s hope for #1’s! They’ve sent you a personalised reply using your (real) name. They’ve connected with you using the word “us”, referenced their time in Japan and asked you a question! All in I’d say you’ve got something solid to build on with this one. (Details of your reply to number #1 will follow in the next article).

With regard to #2 these types of replies always surprise me. There’s very little effort that’s gone into this one but they have at least taken the time to reply. You’ll need to work out if they’ve done so simply because they felt guilty about not reply, but also reassess whether in fact this person is the type of person you’re looking for. Perhaps follow up with an equally short message to see if it was just a one off. Be sure you don’t spend too much time on this one though. They might surprise you but I think it’s unlikely.
Number #3 needs more review. You mustn’t rule them out totally (since some people just love writing / talking etc) but it is a little daunting receiving an essay in reply to a short opening message. Take the time to read it through properly and respond accordingly, being sure to include some other questions – keep your reply relatively short though. You’re not yet at the time for deep and meaningfuls just yet.
If it was a #4 then, as the saying goes, there are plenty more fish in the sea 🙂

Happy Dating all!


David Cohen – The Dating Guru

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