The Dating Guru’s Guide to Internet Dating for Rookies #4 Your Profile Text (Full Content)

I’ll make an assumption here which is that you’re the one initiating contact. I appreciate internet dating does work slightly different for men vs women (men generally initiate contact) but for the purpose of these articles I’ve assumed you’re the one making the first move.

1. Text length – It’s a common misconception with the profile text that the more you write the more chance there is that someone will connect with something you’ve written. Also, if you’re an intellectual you’re likely to fall into the trap of writing too much, given studies have shown the higher the IQ the more text that person writes on their profile page – I guess there’s “smarts” and then there’s “Dating Smarts” 😉 So adhere to this rule. Your profile should be around 100 words. If you’re looking for a clue, that’s about as long as this paragraph. So, not a lot. But with online dating, less is most certainly more.

2. The construct of your profile – A mistake I see time and time again is that people talk about themselves, the entire time. The profile text needs to be a balance between who you are and what you’re looking for. It’s easily done I know but forgetting to include a short section that states a little about the other person is essential to increasing your response rate. Dig deep and think about the qualities that are important to you in a partner (often I think people don’t include this section because they simply haven’t spent time establishing what these key qualities are). Don’t write a long list, but write two or three that are the most important to you and perhaps a quick few reasons as to why. Finally, there’s little value in writing about the type of physical characteristics you’re attracted to in a partner unless these are absolute deal breakers for you. (For example, you’re 6ft tall and simply not interested in a man who is shorter than you). If you’re the one doing the messaging then you’re able to determine this, from looking at their profile. Writing “I really like girls / guys with dark eyes” is likely to turn you off to all people and kill your response rate.

3. Language – An easy way to boost your response rate is to ensure you include at least a few of the following words. “Fun”, “love”, “family”, “heart”, “children”, “romantic” and “relationship.” People who use these words get more responses. Fact. Don’t get carried away and start writing them arbitrarily, and if you’re not a romantic person for example I’d perhaps not list that on your profile just to get the word in!

4. About you – the first section of your profile text needs to be about you. It should include what type of person you are (a fun-loving, romantic, with a big heart who loves children – just kidding) and some of your interests. A word of advice on these points. Firstly, it makes better sense not to be too specific about your interests. For example, by all means state you’re into football but there’s no benefit in you naming the team you support. Someone who’s also interested in football will likely reply, but if they see you support a rival team this might cause them to think twice. That’d obviously be quite annoying if that were the case but I’m pretty convinced that both guys and girls end up ruling themselves out simply because they list too many specifics within their interests and please remember that users don’t necessarily have a lot of time to decide whether to reply, there are a lot of other potential matches out there and often these choices are made on gut feel rather than logic. The same applies to naming bands you’re into, TV programmes, artists etc.
People often find it difficult to write about themselves, they don’t feel genuine doing it or they struggle to see themselves as they actually are – due to a whole host of reasons. But if you’re at the profile writing stage you’ve at least committed to taking the first few steps to find love, and you mustn’t let yourself down by failing to complete your profile text properly. So I’d recommend asking a friend. Not necessarily for them to write for you it but to give you some pointers as to the key qualities that they feel you have. You’ll not only find it refreshing to hear, but it’ll come across arguably more sincere than if you wrote it without any help.

Finally, be sure to include some things in your profile which give rise to questions. If you’ve followed the above there should be suitable opportunity for a reader to ask you something about what you’ve written but it helps if you’ve included things in your profile which naturally give rise to questions. An example might be writing:

“I consider myself level-headed apart from having the stupidest phobia ever!” 
if you happen to have a particular fear of sponges (or perhaps internet dating!). 
Happy Dating everyone!

The Dating Guru

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